Tonight, we feast, library style. Since that kinda makes it sound like we’re going to let other people borrow food from our dinner plates, chew it up, and return it much worse for the wear, perhaps I should clarify. Tonight is our annual Library Volunteers Appreciation Dinner, at which library staff and board members break bread (in a completely normal, mono-masticatory fashion) with our wonderful volunteers to thank them for their indispensable contributions. I cannot overstate how important our volunteers are to the success of the library. To emphasize just how vital they are, I will now paint you a picture of the slippery slope we would inevitably tumble down without them, a la If You Give a Mouse a Cookie:
-If we had no library volunteers, library books would never get shelved.
-Without books on the library shelves, people wouldn’t be able to find anything good to read.
-When people couldn’t find anything good to read, they’d give up on reading.
-Once people had given up on reading, everyone would become profoundly stupid.
-With everyone profoundly stupid, Idiocracy would happen.
-In an Idiocracy-like society, the people of Earth would be outwitted and taken over by giant space ants.
There you have it: an airtight string of logic that proves a library volunteer-less world would be a bleak, terrifying world indeed. I, for one, would not welcome our new insect overlords, so I’m grateful our volunteers are around to save us from such a fate. In all seriousness, we love our volunteers, and all library lovers should be thankful for them today and every day.
If you’re interested in volunteering, please contact us!