Today is the third and final Friday the 13th of 2015. If you’re the superstitious type, or even just a little stitious, this is an unlucky day through which you’d be wise to tread lightly. But why? The origins of and rationale for our fear of and on Friday the 13th are murky at best. As a man of books, I need hard evidence, something logical in which to put stock before I let my behavior be influenced.
In the spirit of being rational, I’m turning to books to guide me on how to best handle this allegedly cursed day. However, in the spirit of remaining true to the silliness of the occasion, I’m using them in a highly irrational way. In order to find out what, if anything, should be feared on Friday the 13th, a seemingly arbitrary day to fear, I implemented the similarly arbitrary “research” method of selecting the 13th shelved book in the library’s adult collection (Earth Under Fire by Dr. Paul A. LaViolette), turning to the 13th page, and identifying the 13th word. This highly scientific approach allowed me to pinpoint what to be wary of today: etherons.
Being unfamiliar with etherons, I checked the dictionary, but found no entry. Some Googling led to me to find that etherons are energy particles described on various sites as being “energy that keeps us conscious and alive,” “the glue holding the universe together,” and the stuff that makes up “all material bodies in the Universe.” So, in other words, today we need to fear…
…Everything. The books have spoken. Touche, Friday the 13th.